Resting in His Presence

So about a month ago I had two dreams that consist of the same themes. But I will only tell the better of the two.

My spouse, family, and I were in a middle of a natural disaster. If I could guess what natural disaster it was I would say a tsunami. Anyway, we were in the middle of the highway trying to run away from the waves. The water was high and the anticipation of another gigantic wave of water was great. There were people all around us in a panic, including myself and my family. We were anxiously trying to get to safety, even though we had no idea what that was. It wasn't long after the dream started that a wave hit us, but we were OK.

Notice how I said that all of us were in a panic except for my husband? I was yelling at him to hurry up and to take this devastation more seriously. It seemed as if he was in no rush, fear, or panic at all.

What is ironic is that, that is who he is in real life. A number of events have happened to us. If I were to go into detail you would be amazed. In fact, our first year of marriage was quite an event. We have experienced major car accidents, failed pregnancy, and family lost. But through it all my husband was the strong one. So positive to the point where it was almost hard to believe. I was waiting for him to panic and it never happened. That made it very hard for me to.

There were times where I knew that deep down he had some sort of disappointment. Some things are just harder on men in ways that women cannot understand. But he never spoke anything negative out of his mouth or gave the enemy any glory by having self pity.

I truly think that God was trying to show me that I needed to truly rest in him. It was almost like he was warning me that some stormy events were coming but not to waver or panic. That I need to completely rely on him and no matter what happens he is still my God and my source.

My pastor is constantly trying to teach us about resting in God's presence and trusting that he is our source. It is funny how you can read a scripture a million times but life can make it have a whole new meaning. Psalm 23 means more to me now than ever.

If we constantly are focused on resting in God, keeping our confidence in God, not speaking and giving life to negativity,  being consistent in our prayer, and consistent in his word, we become a great frustration to the enemy.

Could you imagine what it would be like that no matter what anyone said or what happened in life, nothing could take away our joy. I hope to accomplish this in the near future. Le

On the Road to Motherhood

So I went from looking forward to having my baby and getting my body back to not looking forward to the after affects of having a child. For example the bleeding weeks afterwards.
It's amazing how someone can feel so many different emotions at one time. I am excited and can't wait to see my son. Every night when I go to bed I wonder what he looks like, is he mostly going to take after me or his dad. I look most forward to bonding with him and holding him. On the other hand I am very nervous about being a good mother and being able to take care of him. I have often realized that I am going to be expected to not only be a mother but to continue being a wife. That after I have been taking care of my son all day my husband is going to come home from working hard and be hungry. I just wonder sometimes, can I do it all? I am overwhelmed with joy and fear.
But I do know that this is what millions of women experience, especially for first time mothers. That it has been done since Eve had Cain and Abel. So with the help of the Holy Spirit I will be ok. I just thank God for friends who are able to help inform me about the things that the pregnancy books don't tell you.
I just know that I love my child so much all ready and I look forward to being his mother for the rest of his life.
About 80 days and counting until the arrival of Caleb Elvis O'Rear!

A Different Kind of Love

                                                                                                                                   

12 more weeks and I will be giving birth to our first child together. I am happy, excited, nervous all at the same time. It all just seem to happen so fast. I went thru my alone season with the Lord, focusing on my physical and emotional healing. I was blessed to have people in my life to help me get rid of some ways and attitudes I had carried with me 200 miles away. And I remember for about a year before I met my husband I kept getting unction to pray for him in my prayer time. It seemed as if God had everything aline perfectly when it was time for us to come in the covenant. Things happen so fast that our first born son Caleb Elvis O'Rear will be here shortly after our one year wedding anniversary. 

We are obviously not the typical couple. People make that obvious when we go out in public especially. I wonder if people judge assuming that I am with him for his money or I need a father figure. I remember not being able to find my wedding ring and feeling like people thought I was his mistress because of it. Could it we be so bizarre that we could not just be divinley connected and sincerely love each other? 

I fell for him so fast. So when I had my spiritual parents, and Pastor's approval we pretty much knew marriage was the next step.

 He is patient, loving, and kind. His wisdom from is the benefit of us being apart in age. He is proof and fact that God always keeps his promises. And one of my favorite parts is when I was sick I was still beautiful to him now that I'm healed and set free. He saw the worst of the worst and still loved me. Thank You Jesus for loving me thru my husband!

                                     Happy early birthday Larry Glenn O'Rear!!